she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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