Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
