Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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