been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
