Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
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