apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
