glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
