Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
