The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
