he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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