He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
