chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm always down for nudity.
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