My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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