I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
