He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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