You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
