It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
