just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Randomize
