i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
