and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
