He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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