There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
