Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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