I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Randomize
