Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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