It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
