he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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