Duck Duck Cougar?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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