I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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