Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
