glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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