He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
