i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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