Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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