I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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