one two three fourrrrnication!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
