Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
