operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
