Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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