Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
