I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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