So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
