I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize