lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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