Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
