remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
