tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
