i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
