can u get pink eye on your cock?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
