First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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