He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Barsexuality is the new black.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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