Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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