Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
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