I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
