i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
