didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
