I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize